March 2012
22 posts
Unload
Unload (uhn-lohd) -v. to ejaculate.
My roommate eats my cereal without buying more, so every morning I unload in his shampoo bottle.
February 2012
26 posts
1 tag
Blow
Blow (bloh) -v. to perform fellatio.
I managed to stay between the yellow line while my girlfriend blew me, but I swerved off the road when she spit into the ashtray.
Impotence
Impotence (im-puh-tuh ns) -n. chronic inability to attain or sustain an erection for the performance of a sexual act.
They saw specialist after specialist, but no one could cure Dave’s impotence until his wife accidentally rented a gay porno.
1 tag
Pussy juice
Pussy juice (poos-ee joos) -n. vaginal secretion generated by sexual arousal.
Did you know that porn stars bottle their pussy juice to sell on the internet and that it doesn’t cost as much as you’d think?
1 tag
Dick
Dick (dik) 1. -n. penis; the male sexual organ, also used for urinary excretion. 2. -n. a mean or contemptible man. 3. -v. to have sexual intercourse with; to fuck. 4. -v. to take advantage of; to cheat.
Reblog this if your dick is bigger than average.
Cheeks
Cheeks (cheek-s) –n. the buttocks.
I once mooned the girl’s volleyball team and one of ‘em spiked a ball right between my cheeks.
1 tag
Dick around
Dick around (dik uh-round) -v. to do nothing of value; to waste time.
Dave just dicks around at work and no one ever calls him on it, must be nice to be a manager.
1 tag
Asswad
Asswad (as-wod) -n. an obnoxious person.
That asswad in the beamer took up two parking spaces and chucked his Starbucks cup into the hedges again.
1 tag
Hard
Hard (hahrd) -adj. state of sexual arousal in males, having an erection.
She wants me to apologize for her Valentine’s Day card, but I think “I get hard every time you say my name” was a romantic thing to write.
Cooter
Cooter (koo-ter) -n. pussy.
My Daddy was a traveling choir robe salesman in the bible belt and he bragged that he had a cooter in every congregation.
Lay pipe
Lay pipe (ley pahyp) -v. to have sexual intercourse.
Haven’t seen my girl all week, but I’m gonna take her out to a nice dinner before we lay pipe tonight.
1 tag
Knob
Knob (nob) -n. 1. dick, penis. 2. the head or tip of the penis.
I always give her just enough foreplay to get my knob in, leaves ‘em wanting more.
3 tags
Asswipe
Asswipe (as-wahyp) -n. 1. a worthless, annoying, pompous or contemptible person. 2. toilet paper.
My cheapo roommate started hiding the toilet paper he paid for, so when I need some asswipe I tear a page out of one of his notebooks.
Dickwad
Dickwad (dikwod) -n. a stupid and ineffective male; a useless idiot.
No wonder our numbers are in the toilet; the entire sales force is full of dickwads.
1 tag
Fucking
Fucking (fuhk-in) -adj. 1. damned; confounded. 2. extremely. (used as an intensifier).
I fucking love you and I love fucking you.
Hit skins
Hit skins (hit skins) -v. to have sexual intercourse.
I’m still in shock; my baby and me were hitting skins last night and an Impala crashed right through our living room wall.
Prick
Prick (prik) -n.1. a penis. 2. a guy who acts like a dick.
If you weren’t such a prick, I’d let you do more than buy me a drink.
Flaccid
Flaccid (flas-id) -adj. soft and limp, not erect nor aroused.
Still handcuffed to the bed, Dave lay fat and flaccid waiting for the maid to rescue him.
3 tags
Fag hag
Fag hag (fag hag) -n. a woman who mainly associates with gay and bisexual men, or has gay and bisexual men as close friends.
I’m not a fag hag, I just don’t trust straight men.
3 tags
Hair pie
Hair pie (hair pahy) –n. vagina, pussy, bush; a woman’s wedge shaped pubic hair.
My most awkward sexual encounter in high school was when Meredith Palmer’s hair pie got caught on my braces.
3 tags
Dickhead
Dickhead (dĭk’hěd’) -n. 1. a stupid, foolish, or contemptible person, a jerk. 2. The tip of the penis.
Don’t be a dickhead; leave a decent tip.
Penetrate
Penetrate (pen-i-treyt) -v. to enter a penis, digit or object into an orifice of the body.
Our heroine’s bosom heaved as the farm boy slowly penetrated her with his pulsating man muscle.
2 tags
Knob-end
Knob-end (nob-end) -n. the tip of penis; dick head.
Popping a cherry ain’t all it’s cracked up to be; she was so tight, my knob-end felt like it was getting squeezed off.
6 tags
4-way
4-way (fawr-wey) -n. a sexual encounter between four people; a foursome. See also four way.
No way we’re having a 4-way, too much stress and mess.
Fuckwad
Fuckwad (fuhk-wad) -n. an idiot who is beneath contempt. 2. jism expelled in an act of intercourse.
Your teacher isn’t a fuckwad, you just have a problem with authority.
2 tags
Bash the bishop
Bash the bishop (bash the bish-uh’p) -v. to masturbate.
My most embarrassing moment was getting a suspension from Catholic school for bashing the bishop under the bleachers.
3 tags
Dickbag
Dickbag (dikbag) –n. 1. an idiot, especially one who is mean or rude.
Every bar downtown is full of stuck up drama queens and dickbags fighting to buy them drinks.