February 2010
18 posts
1 tag
Blue balls
Blue balls (bloo bawls) -n. feeling of discomfort or pain caused by a temporary fluid congestion in the testicles and prostate due to maintaining an erection for a long period of time without ejaculating.
Blue balls are an actual condition, although plenty of guys have used it as an excuse just to get a handjob.
January 2010
23 posts
1 tag
Twat
Twat (twaht) -n. 1. female genitalia. 2. a woman. 3. an incompetent man.
James has become a real twat since he started dating that little tart from Edmonton.
1 tag
Fag
Fag (fag) -n. a homosexual man.
When my friends called me a fag in high school, it was humiliating. Now I find it endearing.
1 tag
Pearl necklace
Pearl necklace (purl nek-lis) -n. the act or result of a man ejaculating semen on or near the neck, chest or breast of another person.
My girlfriend became my ex-girlfriend shortly after I whispered in her ear that I wanted to give her a pearl necklace for Valentine’s Day.
1 tag
Dick
Dick (dik) -n. 1. the male sexual organ, also used for urinary excretion; penis. 2. a mean or contemptible man.
Our development division might stay on budget if the project managers weren’t so busy swinging their dicks around.
2 tags
Scat
Scat (skat) -n. 1. excrement, especially of an animal. 2. the use of feces for sexual pleasure.
The Cleveland Steamer is most well-known yet least practiced form of scat play, at least according to your Uncle Steve.
2 tags
MILF
MILF (milph) -n. acronym for Mother I’d Like to Fuck; a sexually attractive, often middle-aged, woman who has children.
After her divorce and a pilates class, Mrs. Johnson became one tall glass of MILF.
1 tag
Golden shower
Golden shower (gohl-duhn shou-er) -n. the act of one person urinating on another, usually for sexual gratification.
I suppose I’d find golden showers quite refreshing if only my boyfriend didn’t eat so much asparagus.
1 tag
Jack off
Jack off (jak awf) -v. to achieve sexual gratification through self-stimulation, to masturbate, usually used in reference to men. -n. a dumb or useless male.
Our IT guy is such a jack off. The servers would run better if he just stayed home and jacked off to his anime porn collection.
2 tags
Blowjob
Blowjob, also blow job (blō’jŏb’) -n. Oral sex performed on a man; the act or an instance of fellatio.
I stayed with that crazy bitch for two months after I knew it was over, just hoping she would give me another one of her amazing blowjobs.
1 tag
Smegma
Smegma (smeg-muh) -n. a whitish, cheesy secretion that collects beneath the foreskin or around the clitoris.
The only thing prostitutes hate more than a john with his junk covered in smegma is a smegma-covered john who haggles over the price.
1 tag
Afterglow
Afterglow (af-ter-gloh) -n. The pleasant feeling of satisfaction experienced after sex.
My girlfriend loves the afterglow, but I always just want to get a damn sandwich.
1 tag
Pre-cum
Pre-cum (pre- kuhm) -n. small amount of clear, colorless, viscous fluid emitted from the penis during sexual arousal but before ejaculation.
My new girlfriend hates dirty sheets so much, she even catches my pre-cum in a tissue.
1 tag
Dildo
Dildo (dil-doh) -n. 1. sex toy, often penis shaped, used to stimulate and penetrate the vagina or anus. 2. a stupid person, usually a male.
I’m not saying your girlfriend is loose, but her dildo is bigger than my leg.
1 tag
Rimming
Rimming (rim-ming) - v. orally stimulating the anus for sexual pleasure; anilingus.
I always thought rimming meant you were gay, but once that tongue was in my ass, I didn’t care.
1 tag
Nutsack
Nutsack (nuht-sak) -n. portion of male genitals consisting of the pouch of skin that contains the testicles; the scrotum.
I’ll bet he never passes out naked again after we put this Icy Hot on his nutsack.
1 tag
Ass
Ass (as) -n. 1. the buttocks and rectum. 2. a stupid, foolish, or stubborn person.
This ass at the gym refused to get off the stairmaster until his ass cramped up.
1 tag
Muff dive
Muff dive (muhf dahyv) -v. oral stimulation of the female genitalia; cunnilingus.
When she finally decided to give a reciprocal blow job, his muff diving took on a renewed vigor.
1 tag
Dyke
Dyke (dahyk) -n. a female homosexual; lesbian.
As Mary increased her confidence in herself and her techniques in pussy licking, she blossomed into a first class dyke.
1 tag
Buggery
Buggery (buhg-uh-ree) -n. anal copulation; sodomy.
I always request ‘buggery’ instead of ‘ass fucking’ because I like feeling British when I pay for anal sex.
1 tag
Whore
Whore (hawr, hohr or hoor) -n. a promiscuous woman who engages in sexual intercourse, usually for money; a prostitute.
Of course I don’t think your mother is a whore, I only pay her for doing my laundry after we fuck.
1 tag
Asswipe
Asswipe (as-wahyp) -n. 1. a worthless, annoying, pompous or contemptible person. 2. toilet paper.
My neighbor borrowed my chainsaw without asking, broke it cutting a hole in his roof at 5 a.m. then denied ever using it - what an asswipe.
1 tag
Orgasm
Orgasm (awr-gaz-uhm) 1. -n. the physical and emotional sensation experienced at the peak of sexual arousal, usually resulting from stimulation of the sexual organ and usually accompanied in the male by ejaculation. 2. -n. a pleasurable, climactic release of sexual tension. 3. -v. to have an orgasm.
Instead of complaining about the noise yet again, the neighbors applauded how intense her orgasm...
1 tag
Hell
Hell (hel) -n. 1. place or state of eternal punishment for wicked people after death. 2. any situation or place of pain, evil, misery or suffering. 3. extreme disorder or confusion.
I’d damn my agent straight to hell, but he already lives in Pasadena.